At times it easier to confine Ganny to the private sector (your home or hers) to preserve one's sanity. However, many steps must be taken when you are expecting a Ganny visit to minimize judgment of your lifestyle.
1. The TV must be on acceptable programming. Should the TV be on a sitcom featuring a girl in a bathing suit or a movie with any curse words, you will be judged as immoral and a sermon on the end times will follow.
2. All candy must be put away. Visible sweets prompt Ganny to make a strongly disappointed, crinkly facial expression, and tell you how bad it is for you (as if I don't know). She will then proceed to first: explain how she saw on a TV show once what "this stuff" does once it reaches your stomach and that she'll never touch it and neither should you, second: tell you that you need to lose weight. She "only weighs 119 pounds" after all. Third, Ganny will explain how simple it is to lose weight. She ignores the fact that she has an overactive thyroid and it is quite simple for her to put her extra energy to work to lose weight easily. "You never saw anybody in a concentration camp fat" she always says (and I mean always). I think she might be indicating that I should starve myself in order to look better.
3. All alcohol must be hidden from view or possible discovery. Any viewing of said items leads to a lecture on alcohol, how dangerous it is, and again, how we should prepare for the end times. It is quite impressive how Ganny can tie most of your faults to the rapture.
4. Clean as much as possible. Her failing eyesight has cut me some slack in this department over the years, but any trash that has not been taken out or general clutter will bring about a several minute rant on how clean she always kept her house. In her defense, she usually starts this conversation with "I wish I had more time to help you clean more often" which I think she genuinely intends as a nice gesture, but to me it is one of those underhanded comments that lets me know what she's really thinking: I have no self-discipline and I'm lazy.
5. Finally, activities must be planned when Ganny comes to visit. These don't have to be anything elaborate, but something to keep her focused on positive, normal conversation and not your faults. For example, I often plan to show her recent pictures of family members, try to explain what's going on with my job, and even plan questions to ask her things I think might make her happy to talk about such as, the fifties, her childhood etc.
Following these steps helps to ensure a successful visit as opposed to a frustrating four hours after which I sob for an extended period of time.
