Episode # 8 Victoria's Secret

I know, I know. I asked for it. But I can honestly say it was not the embarrassment I expected.

It’s not unusual for Ganny and I to go to the mall from time to time. I either need to pick something up, or return something, and it’s about midway between her apartment and my house, so we can meet there. (Yes, she still drives. Beware Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex.)

On this day, we made an unplanned stop at Victoria’s Secret. I couldn’t help it. They had that giant “Semi-Annual Sale” sign out front, and who can afford to buy anything there at regular price?

“Gan, do you mind if we run in here real quick? I just want to see if I need anything that’s on sale.”

“Sure,” she replied. She can be surprisingly agreeable when it’s just me and her.

Knowing the possible mortification that awaited, I hurried to the sale area at the back of the store to see if there was anything I had to have. Fortunately, Ganny stayed close to me. You don’t want her to venture out too far on her own where you can’t act as buffer for the general public. As we moved through the store, I spotted some very unique bras in bright colors with sequins and bows.

“Does that seem silly to you Gan – all that decoration on bras that no one’s going to see?” I said this knowing that Ganny is an ultra-conservative Christian who believes you only have sex with one man after you marry him. I assumed she would make that familiar, crinkly face and tell me she thought such things were ridiculous and vain. She did not. She instead proceeded to lift one side of her shirt up nearly to her chin and proclaim “No, I have a blue one on today.”

It was pretty quick and after a split-second survey of the other shoppers in our vicinity I concluded that the revelation went undetected. I unintentionally laughed a little and just kept walking. (What else is there to do really?) She laughed too and I guess she realized what she’d done. It was yet another one of those moments where I couldn’t tell if she had done something scandalous on purpose – as old people sometimes do – or if she genuinely acted before she thought it through – as old people also do.

What I try to explain to myself all the time is that it doesn’t matter. Whatever the reason, she’s my Ganny that helped raise me and has always loved me and loves me now. I will continue to embark upon adventures with her as often as I can.